O.C.G. Over D.E.I.? Reframing Belonging with Humanity in Mind

by Jelisa Dallas July 14, 2025

With all that’s happening in the world, from political agendas to cultural unrest, I had to pause and ask myself: Where do I stand? And more importantly, how does my work reflect what I believe?

If you’ve been connected with me for a while, you know my background is deeply rooted in education. My journey spans from early childhood to adult learning, and currently, I find myself navigating dual roles as an entrepreneurial employee.

In my corporate role as a program manager, I design and enhance co-curricular programs that support adult learners. In my business, I focus on building the capacity of human advocates (social workers, educators, counselors, and more) to do the heart work with courage. Across both roles, I am committed to creating spaces of belonging.

To be seen, heard, and valued is the foundation of belonging. But belonging doesn’t appear by happenstance. It’s cultivated through diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI). That’s why I see the value of DEI. But here’s where I offer a shift: I don’t believe we need DEI in the same way we’ve been used to thinking, speaking, or applying it.

When the Buzzword Becomes the Burden

When heightened social unrest swept through our world at the onset of the pandemic, many individuals and organizations jumped on the DEI bandwagon. Statements were made, initiatives launched, and boxes checked.

But now, as a new political tide works to dismantle DEI, the language is shifting. The work still exists. It’s just being renamed and rebranded, hidden in plain sight. While the strategies evolve, the need remains. However, I believe the opportunity before us is not simply to rename DEI but to reimagine it.

What if we leaned into a more trauma-informed, human-centered approach? One that recognizes that every person carries a story shaped by lived experiences, including adversity and resilience. It shifts our focus from fixing people to understanding them, creating spaces where healing, dignity, and empowerment can take root.

Rather than asking:

“What’s wrong with you?”
Let’s ask:
“What happened to you?”
Then move forward with:
“What’s strong with you?”
And finally:
“What can you do?”

These questions guide us through a process of restoration. They reflect a model I call O.C.G., Ownership, Courage, and Grace. Together, these values help build the capacity for change and offer a foundation for sustainable impact.

Let me take you on the journey that brought me to this conclusion.

Faith as a Framework for Clarity

As a woman of faith, my relationship with God, through Jesus Christ, grounds everything I do. It gives me clarity when the world feels chaotic. It empowers me to own who I am, operate in my God-given authority, and optimize my life with purpose and resilience.

This lens has shaped how I navigate the compounded uncertainties of this time. Some might perceive my posture as unbothered, apathetic, or withdrawn. But in truth, it’s quite the opposite.

Because of my faith, I possess a wisdom that transcends the noise of social media and sensational headlines. For instance, I know that speaking life over my circumstances plants seeds of hope. I understand that while I am limited in my own strength, in partnership with the Holy Spirit, my words have power to shape the atmosphere and initiate change. And with wisdom, I can take what I know and understand and put it into meaningful action.

This doesn’t mean I’m exempt from discouragement or disappointment. I’ve felt both. But I’ve learned that anchoring myself in what I know to be true brings stability to this journey.

I’ve often said to my colleagues, “I’m a surfer, riding the waves of the times.”
This analogy has become more than a metaphor. It’s a mindset.

Like any surfer, I’m building strength and balance from my core (my values, beliefs, and focus). And when I wipe out, when I make mistakes or feel overwhelmed, I choose to get back on the board. I recommit to owning who I am, operating in my authority, and basking in the sun that reminds me I’m still here, still growing, still alive.

A Human Definition of DEI

So how do we define DEI in a way that reflects humanity, not just policy?

Diversity: The recognition and appreciation of differences.
Equity: The intentional effort to ensure access to opportunities and resources for all.
Inclusion: The creation of welcoming, respectful environments where people are free to show up fully.

One of my favorite quotes comes from Verna Myers:

“Diversity is being invited to the party. Inclusion is being asked to dance.”

Over the years, others have beautifully extended this metaphor:

“Allyship is the joy of dancing together.” – Priska Burkland
“Equity is having the resources to host the party.” — Anonymous
“Belonging is being able to contribute to the music playlist.”—Anonymous

Still, DEI remains an uphill battle. Why? Because at its core, DEI challenges systems of power and privilege, and that threatens people. Fear is always at the root of change. And change, no matter how worthy, brings discomfort.

What DEI Means to Me

To me, DEI means the freedom to show up fully as the person I was created to be.

I am a cisgendered, heterosexual, middle-class, college-educated, Christian millennial woman of African and Indigenous descent. I go by the pronouns she/her. I’m not blind to the power and privilege I carry because of some of these identities. Nor am I naïve to the barriers I face because of others.

DEI, at its best, helps us recognize that multiple facts can exist at once. We can be both advantaged and disadvantaged. We can hold power in one space and face oppression in another. Acknowledging this complexity is not weakness, it’s wisdom.

And the truth of the matter is: growth is a requirement of humanity. Not an option. Not a luxury. A necessity.

But the change DEI aspires toward cannot happen without OCG. Without these, we end up back at square one: hurting people, blaming or hiding, clinging to shame or fear.

Breaking Down the O.C.G. Framework

Let me break this down more clearly.

Ownership

According to Henry Cloud and John Townsend (authors of the Boundaries series), our personal boundaries and areas of responsibility include our feelings, attitudes, behaviors, choices, values, thoughts, limits, talents, love and desires. That’s why I define ownership as:

“Self-accountability; taking responsibility for our actions and fulfilling obligations, tasks, and goals without blaming others or making excuses.”

Ownership is one of the five strategies I teach to disrupt self-sabotage. Many of us resist change not because we don’t want it, but because we’ve never learned how to prepare for it. In my book Soul Work, I explore this deeply in Chapter 2: Ready for Change—a call to release the old, embrace the new, affirm truth, discipline self, and yield to reflection.

Courage

Courage means learning to operate in our authority. This includes:

Breaking barriers to our success
Bolstering belief for greater confidence
Building brave behaviors

I walk through these stages in my YouTube series. If you haven’t already, I invite you to check out the Cultivating Courage: The Framework playlist. Be sure to like, leave a comment, and subscribe—new videos drop every Tuesday at 6 p.m. EST.

Grace

Lastly, grace. DEI is better, we are better, when we extend grace for the imperfections of humanity. We all fall short. We all miss the mark. We all make mistakes. And that’s what makes us human.

Grace doesn’t mean we abandon accountability. It means we honor the journey from ignorance to awareness to action. Like the saying goes:

Progress, not perfection.

Grace also requires emotional intelligence (EI)—the ability to manage ourselves and our relationships wisely. To learn more about how EI supports allyship and belonging, download our eBook: The EI Guide to Allyship.

The Final Word (For Now)

My hope is that this reflection on today’s cultural climate offers clarity and hope.

If it resonates with you, stay tuned for more.

My new book, Cultivating Courage: Values-Driven Leadership in Uncertain Times, will be available for pre-order on August 11, 2025 (my Birthday) and officially released November 2025.

Want a preview of what’s to come? Join me for our next Brave on Purpose information session.

In the meantime, ride the waves. Own your truth. Lead with courage. And don’t forget to give yourself (and others) a little grace along the way.